LBA League Recap “The Grinch, the Lanes, and a Lot of Hurt Feelings”
🎄 ’Twas the Monday Before Christmas
’Twas the Monday before Christmas, and through the bowling house,
All the LBA seniors were stirring… loudly… and blaming the lanes.
The balls were lined up neatly on the returns, ready for action, excuses, and mild conspiracy theories. It was the final week of 2025, and somewhere between the approach and the foul line, the Grinch clearly showed up and took a few games with him.
👑 Ron Survives (Again)
Ron is still holding onto first place, though not without incident. He split 2–2 with Vicki, which clearly did not sit well with him. Ron attempted to explain one of his losses by blaming Brad, despite Brad not bowling in that match. League officials confirmed this explanation “made no sense,” but allowed it anyway because it sounded confident.
🧠 Brad Finds His Head
Brad appeared to pull his head out of the gutter long enough to take three games from Michael Altop, which immediately sparked hope — briefly. Brad later announced that he has officially had enough of Ron and plans on picking up Tonya Harding at the airport after league play. Whether this is a joke, a threat, or poor planning remains unclear.
✨ The Miracle Ball Loses Its Glow
Joe had a rough day, dropping three games to Bob Reed. No excuses were offered, which was suspicious in itself. Word around the lanes is that Joe’s miracle ball may have lost some of its charm. The proposed gold-lined, velvet bowling bag has reportedly been put “on hold” until further notice. The ball has been very quiet about all this.
⚔️ One Half of the Drury Duo Strikes
Marilyn Drury — one half of the dreaded Drury Duo — jumped all over Dave 3–1. Dave, meanwhile, managed to outdo Pete Weber this week, despite claiming he doesn’t even think he is. Several witnesses reported aggressive energy, dramatic reactions, and at least one stare-down with no clear target.
🔥 George Gets Hot (Briefly)
George went on an absolute terror and took three games from Bubba. Unfortunately, George has a well-documented habit of getting hot and then going ice-cold just as fast. The league is currently waiting to see which version of George shows up next week.
💤 The Day Off Match
Tom and Jeff both decided to take the day off… and somehow ended up bowling against each other. This may be the first recorded instance of two bowlers resting while actively competing. No one knows how it happened, but everyone agreed it felt right.
🧪 Carl Shots Fail Again
Carl Drury could not get his famous Carl shots to work and dropped three games to Pat, who once again got hot at exactly the wrong time for everyone else. Carl was last seen examining his grip, the lanes, and possibly the alignment of the planets.
🔐 The Secret to Beating Mary
Bob Schorr discovered the secret to beating Mary, taking 3½ games from her. Bob has since vowed to never reveal the secret to anyone. Rumors range from lane position to voodoo to showing up early. Mary declined comment but was seen smiling, which is never a good sign.
📊 Top Scores – The Grinch Edition
🥇 Pat – 233 (High Game of the Week)
🥈 Joe – 212
🥉 George – 197
📈 High Series
🥇 Joe – 588
🥈 George – 552
🥉 Pat – 538 (Christmas Spirit Applied)
📉 Season Highs Remain Safe
With scores this low, the high scores for the year were never in danger, resting comfortably like ornaments packed away until next season. The Grinch may have stolen a few games, but he didn’t touch the record book.
🕵️ Rumor Mill – Holiday Edition
- Ron is still first, but blinking more than usual.
- Joe’s bowling ball may be in a timeout.
- Brad may or may not be waiting at an airport right now.
- Bob Schorr knows something the rest of us don’t.
- The Grinch has been banned from league play… unofficially.
That wraps up 2025 — bruised egos, hurt feelings, and just enough chaos to make 2026 very interesting 🎳🎄
