LBA Seniors Singles League Week 11, The Week Nobody Could Hit Their Average — Except Mary, Obviously
👑 Ron Holds the Throne
Ron McKenzie stayed firmly in first place of the LBA Seniors League by sweeping all four from George Bushee.
That dropped George straight into a three-way tie for second with Marilyn Drury and Tom Muncie, who are now staring at each other like,
“Okay… who bowled just bad enough to match me this week?”
“Ron said he wasn’t bowling great — but apparently ‘great’ isn’t required this week.”
😭 Brad vs. Carl: The Meltdown
Pat Worhle took three from Vicki Trein, pushing Vicki into fifth place and creating a three-way tie for… whatever place Brad, Pat, and Carl now occupy in the land of “not quite podium.”
But here’s the drama:
Brad got swept 4-0 by Carl, who unleashed an arsenal of what Brad called “way too many Carl shots.”
What are Carl shots?
No one knows — but Brad swears they’re illegal in at least 12 states.
After the match, Brad was seen crying quietly in the locker room corner.
He insists no one saw him.
The security cameras disagree.
“Brad collapsed emotionally after bowling a 411… and rumor has it he’s still in there, sniffling.”
🎳 The Lanes: Dryer Than a West Texas Wind
It was a rough week for most bowlers — the scores read more like mini-golf than bowling.
Top Scratch Series of the Week:
- 🥇 Ron McKenzie – 498
- 🥈 Carl Drury – 493 (and the only respectable game with a 180)
- 🥉 Jeff Fletcher – 453
This was the bowling-equivalent of surviving a desert trek — the pins weren’t falling, they were just judging.
💃 Mary Shows the Men Who’s Boss (Again)
While the men flailed around on what felt like concrete lanes,
Mary McKenzie posted a 448, beating most of the guys — which, at this point, she does nearly every week.
“Mary said the lanes were fine. The men disagreed. Loudly.”
🌟 Season Highs Stay Locked In
With scores this low, nobody was even close to touching the season leaders.
The honor board didn’t move an inch — it just laughed at everyone this week.
🕵️♂️ Saloon Rumor Mill – Week 11 Edition
- Rumor has it Brad is still in the locker room, gently whispering “411… why 411…”
- Carl’s ‘Carl shots’ are now under formal review, mostly because Brad demanded it.
- Vicki reportedly said Pat only beat her because “the pins were in on it.”
- George hasn’t spoken since Ron swept him — he just stares into the distance muttering about coconut oil and lane conditioner.
- Some league members swear Jeff Fletcher bowls better when someone says “Welcome, new guy” sarcastically.
LBA Seniors Week 12 Recap, Ron Rolls, Mary Plots Revenge, and Bubba Makes “Phone Calls” — Now With Honor Scores!
🔥 Ron Keeps the Hammer Down
Ron McKenzie continued his stay atop the league by taking 3 from Pat, keeping a firm grip on first place and an even firmer grip on bragging rights.
“Ron says he’s humble. His scores disagree.”
🤝 Tom & George Tie… Again
In a move that surprised exactly no one, Tom Muncie and George Bushee split 2-2, which bumped them right back into a tie for second place.
At this point, the standings chart is basically trolling them.
💥 Joe Takes 3 From Mary — Dangerous Life Choice
Joe Holcomb took 3 games from Mary, which is something medical professionals call
“a high-risk activity.”
Mary did not take the news well and was last seen tightening the straps on her bowling bag and muttering about “next week.”
🎭 Brad vs. Ron Next Week
Brad and Ron are convinced their match next week is must-see bowling.
Everyone else plans to be in the bar ordering nachos.
😢 Brad Wins 3 — Tears Still Present
Brad beat Marilyn Drury 3-1, though eyewitnesses report traces of Week 11 moisture still lingering around the eyes.
Brad claims it was “just allergies.”
The league is not convinced.
🕴️ Jeff Sweeps Bubba — Mob Business Possibly Triggered
Jeff Fletcher rolled to a clean 4-0 sweep over Bubba Trein.
Shortly after, Bubba made a concerning phone call to his friend Luigi in New Jersey about
“breaking the leg of a sandbag.”
We don’t know what that means.
We’re afraid to ask.
🎯 Carl Rolls Vicki — Carl Shots Ascend
Carl Drury took 3 from Vicki, moving him — and his now-legendary “Carl shots” — back into a tie with Brad and Marilyn.
No one knows what a Carl shot is.
Brad insists it’s witchcraft.
🎳 LBA Seniors Honor Scores – Week 12
Men’s High Games (Week 12)
- 🥇 Joe Holcomb – 245
- 🥈 George Bushee – 221
- 🥉 Jeff Fletcher – 216
Women’s High Games (Week 12)
- 🥇🥈🥉 Mary McKenzie — all three
(She didn’t leave scraps for anybody.)
🏆 Season High Games (Rule Applies: 1 score per bowler)
Thanks to Joe shooting 245 this week, the season’s high game board stays:
- Joe Holcomb – 287
- Brad Finnearty – 255
- Bob Schorr – 244
(Yes — Joe’s 245 would have been third… but rules are rules.)
📊 Season High Series
- 🥇 Joe Holcomb – 652
- 🥈 Carl Drury – 633
- 🥉 Dave Pierce – 619
📈 Season High Averages – Men
- 🥇 Joe Holcomb – 177
- 🥈 George Bushee – 169
- 🥉 Pat Worhle – 163
💃 Season High Averages – Women
- ⭐ Mary McKenzie – 164 (Yes, higher than Ron and Brad.)
This has led to one of the greatest moments of the season:
Ron and Brad were reportedly found in the locker room crying on each other’s shoulders after seeing Mary ahead of them in average.
Some say they were consoling each other.
Others say they were rehearsing a soap opera scene.
The truth is probably both.
🧨 Saloon Rumor Mill – Week 12 Edition
- Rumor has it Brad is still emotionally dehydrated from last week’s meltdown.
- Bubba’s friend Luigi was last heard saying, “No one disrespects Bubba… or his handicap.”
- Mary may or may not be keeping score with a list titled “Men I Intend to Destroy.”
- Jeff is now on the “watch list” merely for bowling too well and too quietly.
- The league is considering renaming second place to
“The George & Tom Memorial Co-Ownership Position.”
